Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I actually pay taxes

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

What did someone say to you that instantly made you realize their life was in danger?

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I’m 26 years old and a married woman. My husband hates my flat chest. What is the permanent solution?

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

How do you cope when your mother doesn't love you?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

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When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

So I’m getting piano lessons and my teacher wants me to get an upright piano instead of a keyboard. An upright piano is way above my price range, so what do I do? And what’s the difference between an upright piano and a keyboard?

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

How do you say "I don't speak French yet, but I hope to speak it well one day. It would be a pleasure to learn French with you. Would you like to teach me French?" in French? Could you add audio?

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

What trains transport cars and passengers near Pompano Beach, Florida that goes to New York?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

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I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

Can you name a female actress who has had bad timing or luck in her film career?

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I can count

I’ve often wondered why fans aren’t deployed on GBBO during warm weather? I’ve seen too many desserts melt (and bakers too…). (I live in Pompano Beach and we try to use fans in lieu of AC as much as possible).

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I have complete contempt for fakery

I have a bad reputation and need help. What should I do?

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t cotton to rapists

Why do atheists want to see God so badly?

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I can read

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I have a reading level above third grade

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t buy bullshit

I understand how hurricane paths work

I see through liars

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”